Three Butterfly Tattoos.

I am not very conservative but I absolutely hate tattoos. Enjoy this post!

A few days ago my friend Charlotte and I happened upon a plethora of fake tattoos at our friend Kyle’s house. Without any consideration I said to Char “Find all the butterfly ones and put the best all over my back.” Truly the tramp stamp of 2008. Well, later that evening we went out for a drink, and of course I had forgotten about the beauty that was cascading from below my shoulder blade up to my clavicle; the rainbow of large and small butterflies. I had decided to wear a dress that was strapless and denim, and sorta an ironic call back to the 90’s. We had only been in the bar for a couple of minutes when a girl with long greasy hair and tight jeans came over to me and complimented me on my art. I figured she could tell I was on artist, and then noticed she was looking at my back. MY FAKE TATTOOS.

With out blinking I said, “Cancun 2001, 2002, 2003.” Her eyes got wide in approval. “AWWWESOME.” In a way I wanted to say “Ohhh . . . I’m really not the tattoo type. Um, I actually hate tattoos. So . . . oh, and this dress is totally ironic. I would never ACTUALLY wear a strapless denim . . .” But in another way I felt proud to be complimented on something that was so not a part of me. Well the girl brought over her posse of skaters and showed them my tattoos, and they all high fived me. By the way, she lives in a van, which she also showed me, and her business card is a magnet.

I wish I could say the tattoo adventure was over at that point, but the next day I was in the park with my dog and yet another woman approached me. (Apparently with tats I am a babe magnet, gentlemen, take notes). We talked for a little bit about subjects dear to me; dogs, an article in the New Yorker, food . . . and then she said “ok, I got to ask, WHERE did you get that fabulous tattoo!” Oh, yes, the butterflies refused to be scrubbed away, and one still peeked its little rainbow face through my sleeve. “Umm . . . its fake actually. A joke. Hahaha. I am not a tattoo person.” Sightly more awkward then my Cancun answer the night before.

Lesson learned: Never get a tattoo, especially not a butterfly tattoo. Cancun is AWWWESOME!